Communicating a message through writing is only effective as long as you keep your reader reading. Beyond writing accurately (in terms of grammar) and choosing appropriate words, you can keep the reader reading with sentences that are interesting, clear, and specific. In English, effective writing has two critical features:
1) the sentences use specific detail to fully communicate the message;
2) the sentences vary in length and structure.
The first critical feature of effective English writing is specificity. In the same way that you want to choose words to achieve specificity in word choice, your sentences needs to be specific, too. A nonspecific sentence is a dead sentence.
Here is an example of a dead sentence: The driver crashed the car. That sentence leaves a reader asking some questions, such as
|
Which driver? |
Where did the crash occur? |
|
What kind of driver? |
When did the crash occur? |
|
What kind of car was it? |
How did the crash occur? |
|
What kind of crash was it? |
Why did the crash occur? |
Your reader should not have to ask such questions. Effective writing answers the questions before they are asked. How? Add specifics to the sentence elements, especially the nouns and verbs:
- descriptive words (adjectives and adverbs);
- phrases (prepositional and participial);
- clauses (adjective and adverb) to provide specificity and interest.
Here are some different ways to expand different elements of a sentence with specifics.
Expand nouns by adding adjectival words, phrases, and clauses.
The sleepy, unlicensed driver crashed the car.
The sleepy, unlicensed driver crashed the beat-up old car.
Driving with his eyes closed, the driver crashed the car.
The sleepy driver, whose eyes were closed, crashed the car.
The driver, who has already had three accidents this year, crashed the car.
The driver crashed the car, which veered off the road and into a tree.
Expand verbs by adding adverbial words, phrases, and clauses
The driver violently crashed the car.
The driver crashed the car with a loud explosion.
The driver crashed the car for the third time in a year.
The driver crashed the car because he was driving with his eyes closed.
The driver crashed the car into a tree.
Because he was driving with his eyes closed, the driver crashed the car.
After many hours of driving, the driver crashed the car.
When he closed his eyes for just a minute, the driver crashed the car.
With a grinding of gears and the groaning of metal, the driver crashed the car.
The driver crashed the car into a tree.
The driver crashed the car because he was sleepy from so many hours of driving.
The second critical feature of effective English writing is variation in sentence length and structure. If all sentences were brief and of equal length or equal structure, your writing would be monotonous – it would have no rhythm. How do you add rhythm to words and sentences? You vary the sentence length and structure. The techniques used to create this rhythm include three ways to build sentences:
- coordination;
- subordination;
- clause reduction.
Coordination
Within a sentence, ideas can be connected by coordinating or compounding various sentence elements: subjects, verbs, objects, partial and whole predicates, modifiers, and other elements. Coordination also involves entire clauses, both dependent and independent. Finally, coordination is a simple link between equal ideas, whether the ideas are words, phrases, or claues.
Coordinated Sentence Elements
Coordination of sentence elements requires a coordinating conjunction without a comma before the conjunction. When sentence elements are compounded, they must be parallel in grammatical construction. Examples of coordinating different elements of sentences:
Coordinated subjects:
Working together, President Jefferson and Meriwether Lewis convinced Congress to raise money for an expedition to the Northwest Territory.
Coordinated object words, phrases, clauses:
President Jefferson believed that the headwaters of the Missouri reached all the way to the Canadian border. He also believed that meant he could claim all that land for the United States. →
President Jefferson believed that the headwaters of the Missouri might reach all the way to the Canadian border and that he could claim all that land for the United States.
Coordinated verbs and verbals (words or phrases):
He studied the biological and natural sciences. He learned how to categorize and draw animals accurately. →
He studied the biological and natural sciences and learned how to categorize and draw animals accurately.
In Philadelphia, Lewis learned to chart the movement of the stars. He also learned to analyze their movements with mathematical precision. →
In Philadelphia, Lewis learned to chart and analyze the movement of the stars with mathematical precision.
OR (note grammatical parallelism once additional words are added to the predicate)
In Philadelphia, Lewis learned to chart the stars and to analyze their movements with mathematical precision.
Coordinated modifiers (words or phrases or clauses):
Lewis and Clark recruited some of their adventurers from river-town bars. They also used recruits from various military outposts. →
Lewis and Clark recruited their adventurers from river-town bars and various military outposts.
Coordinated Sentences
Coordination of sentences creates a compound sentence of two or more independent clauses. And either one of those independent clauses can stand by itself as its own sentence. The two or more independent clauses of a compound sentence are separated by:
- a semicolon; OR
- a coordinating conjunction (one of the FANBOYS) preceded by a comma.
Examples:
Meriwether Lewis is justly famous for his expedition into the Northwest territory; however, few people know of his contributions to natural science.
Lewis had been well-trained by scientists in Philadelphia before his expedition, and he was a curious man by nature.
Subordination
Coordination of clauses creates a simple link between equal ideas. In contrast, subordination of clauses creates a more complex relationship in which one idea depends on another in some way. Because the relationship is more complex than a simple link between equals, these sentences are known as complex sentences.
The relationship between an independent and dependent clause can be related to time, cause-and-effect, conditions, exclusion, inclusion, exception, contrast, or some other connection. Idea relationship words are critical for making subordination work because these words communicate the logic of the relationship between the independent and dependent clause in a complex sentence. Word choice is critical here!
In addition, keep this characteristic in mind as you subordinate clauses: In English, the most important piece of information in a sentence, the main message, belongs in the main clause, NOT in the subordinated clause. In the examples that follow, notice how the independent and dependent clauses cannot be switched without a significant change in the meaning of the sentence. A writer often bases the decision of where the subordinated clause goes on its relationship to previous or following sentences. If the main idea of a complex sentence continues a topic that has already been introduced, the main idea goes at the beginning of a sentence; conversely, if the main idea adds new information, the main idea is usually placed at the end of the complex sentence.
Reminder: When you work with subordination, punctuation rules apply. Use a comma after an introductory subordinating clause; do not use a comma if the subordinating clause follows the independent clause. Again, notice the comma placement in the following examples.
Examples:
William Clark was not officially promoted to captain before the expedition departed. Captain Lewis more or less ignored this technicality and treated Clark as an equal in authority and rank. →
Idea Relationship: contrast (unexpected result)
Even though William Clark was not officially promoted to captain before the expedition departed, Captain Lewis more or less ignored this technicality and treated Clark as his equal in authority and rank.
The explorers approached the headwaters of the Missouri River. They discovered, to their horror, that the Rocky Mountain range stood between them and their goal. →
Idea Relationship: sequence (two actions performed at the same time)
As the explorers approached the headwaters of the Missouri River, they discovered, to their horror, that the Rocky Mountain range stood between them and their goal.
Clause Reduction
Clause reduction refers to the process of changing a clause (has a subject and verb) into a phrase (does not have a subject or verb). The phrase may be a participial phrase – adjective or adverb. Or it may be an appositive phrase, which is created from an adjective clause. In some cases, a clause may even be reduced to a prepositional phrase.
Reducing Clauses to Participial Phrases
Clause reduction further integrates the idea of one sentence with another, and it can occur with both adjective clauses and adverb clauses. The reduction can involve different verb tenses, verb aspects (perfect tenses) and different verb voices (active or passive). Examples for these differences in reduced adjective clauses follow.
Active simple present & present continuous
Many students who study at this university are from foreign countries. →
Many students studying at this university are from foreign countries.
Students who are taking calculus must buy a graphing calculator. →
Students taking calculus must buy a graphing calculator.
Active present perfect
The secrets of the universe, which have fascinated people for centuries, are slowly being revealed. →
The secrets of the universe, having fascinated people for centuries, are slowly being revealed.
Active simple past & past continuous
The team members, who looked happy after their victory, were cheered by the fans. →
The team members, looking happy after their victory, were cheered by the fans.
The crowd, which was cheering wildly as the game ended, would not leave the stadium. →
Cheering wildly as the game ended, the crowd would not leave the stadium.
Active future
All students who will take the TOEFL next month must preregister. →
All students taking the TOEFL next month must preregister.
Passive simple present & simple past
Lab reports that are not handed in by Friday will not be accepted. →
Lab reports not handed in by Friday will not be accepted.
Passive present, past, & future (infrequent) continuous
A law that is currently being debated concerns abortion rights. →
A law currently being debated concerns abortion rights.
The signs that were being posted around campus support abortion rights. →
The signs being posted around campus support abortion rights.
A movie that will be shown tomorrow was made by an anti-abortion group. →
A movie being shown tomorrow was made by an anti-abortion group.
Passive past perfect
The film, which had been shown too often in movie theaters, did not attract a large television audience. →
The film, having been shown too often in movie theaters, did not attract a large television audience.
Although all of these examples may seem complicated, notice that the clause reduction, in most cases, leads to the same basic participial phrase, either an –ing verb form for active verbs or an –ed verb form for passive verbs. So the steps for reducing adjective clauses are relatively simple.
To reduce an adjective clause to a participial phrase:
Step 1
Delete the who, which, that. You can shorten an adjective clause only when a relative pronoun is the subject of the clause.
Roberto, who always wants to be around the water, lives in an apartment that overlooks the Pacific Ocean.
who = Roberto: OK to reduce the clause.
that = apartment: OK to reduce the clause.
→Always wanting to be around the water, Roberto lives in an apartment overlooking the Pacific Ocean.
Step 2
Change the verb. How you change the verb depends on the tense of the verb in the adjective clause.
For an active verb in simple present, simple past, or simple future, change the verb to a participle (–ing word).
Anyone who plans to travel to the tropics should know about malaria. → Anyone planning to travel to the tropics should know about malaria.
For a verb in the present or past continuous tense, delete the helping verb be and leave the –ing word (participle).
The bus hit a pedestrian who was crossing the street. →
The bus hit a pedestrian crossing the street.
For a verb in the passive present or past tense, delete the helping verb be and leave the –ed word.
Mrs. Smith, who was worried by a fear of chronic illness, took malaria pills every day. →
Worried by a fear of chronic illness, Mrs. Smith took malaria pills every day.
For a verb in the perfect present or perfect past tense, change the helping verb (have) to a participle (–ing word)
The first edition books that have given the old man so much pleasure throughout his life will now become a part of the library’s rare books collection, just as he has directed in his will. →
Having given the old man so much pleasure throughout his life, the first edition books will now become a part of the library’s rare books collection, just as he has directed in his will.
The cat, who had been vaccinated against rabies, did not have to be killed after its fight with the raccoon. →
The cat, having been vaccinated against rabies, did not have to be killed after its fight with the raccoon.
To reduce an adverb clause to a participial phrase:
The steps for reducing an adverb clause to a participial phrase are a little more complicated because sometimes the subordinating word that introduces an adverb clause is kept. But sometimes it is not.
Step 1
Delete the subject of the clause. You can reduce an adverb clause only when the subjects of both clauses are the same person or thing.
Because he hoped to graduate in three years, Jack took extra classes every semester.
he = Jack: OK to reduce the clause
→ Hoping to graduate in three years, Jack took extra classes every semester.
Step 2
Change the verb. How you change the verb depends on the tense of the verb in the adverb clause. If necessary, you may also have to move the subject of the adverb clause to the subject position in the independent clause.
For an active verb in simple present, simple past, or simple future, change the verb to an –ing word (participle).
When I speak on the phone, I try to speak slowly and clearly. →
When speaking on the phone, I try to speak slowly and clearly.
For a verb in the present or past continuous tense, delete the helping verb be and leave the –ing word.
Because Jennifer was thinking about getting home quickly, she forgot to do the grocery shopping. →
Thinking about getting home quickly, Jennifer forgot to do the grocery shopping.
For a verb in the passive present or past tense, delete the helping verb be and leave the –ed word.
When the murderer was questioned by the police, he confessed to the crime. →
When questioned by the police, the murderer confessed to his crime.
Step 3
Decide whether to keep or delete the subordinating word.
Before students choose a college, they should consider several factors. → Before choosing a college, students should consider several factors.
OR →
A student should consider several factors before choosing a college.
Carlos has not been home since he came to the US three years ago. →
Since coming to the US three years ago, Carlos has not been home.
OR →
Carlos has not been home since coming to the US three years ago.
Because/Since/As Carlos comes from a very conservative family, he is shocked at the American system of coed dormitories. →
Coming from a very conservative family, Carlos is shocked at the American system of coed dormitories.
As he gradually got used to American customs, he became less homesick. → Gradually getting used to American customs, he became less homesick.
After he had passed the TOEFL exam, he became a freshman in college. → After passing the TOEFL exam, he became a freshman in college.
OR →
Having passed the TOEFL exam, he became a freshman in college.
OR →
He became a freshman in college after passing the TOEFL exam.
While he was preparing for the TOEFL, he lived with an American family. → While preparing for the TOEFL, he lived with an American family.
OR →
Preparing for the TOEFL, he lived with an American family.
OR →
He lived with an American family while preparing for the TOEFL.
When he was asked about his life in the US, he said that he was enjoying himself but that he was a little homesick. →
When asked about his life in the US, he said that he was enjoying himself but that he was a little homesick.
OR →
Asked about his life in the US, he said that he was enjoying himself but that he was a little homesick.
Reducing Clauses to Appositives
An appositive or appositive phrase is a renaming or re-identification of a noun or noun phrase. The appositive is simply a clause (introduced by who or which) from which a noun or relative pronoun and a linking verb have been removed.
The game of golf, which was formerly an «old man’s sport», is changing. →
The game of golf, formerly an «old man’s sport», is changing.
Tiger Woods, who is a golf star, has made the game popular among young people. →
Golf star Tiger Woods has made the game popular among young people.
OR →
Tiger Woods, golf star, has made the game popular among young people.
To reduce a relative clause to an appositive:
Delete the who or which and the verb be of an adjective clause.
Even young women are learning to play golf, which was traditionally a man’s sport. →
Even young women are learning to play golf, traditionally a man’s sport.
To reduce a sentence to an appositive:
Combine two sentences, making the less important idea an appositive.
Se Ri Pak is a rising star. She is a young woman golfer from Korea. →
Se Ri Pak, a young woman golfer from Korea, is a rising star.
Punctuating an appositive
As with the adjective clauses that appositives are based on, punctuation is important with appositives. When the appositive is a parenthetical element (not necessary, just extra information), the appositive is set off with commas. But when the appositive is necessary to identify the first noun, do not use commas.
The game of golf, formerly an «old man’s sport», is changing.
Golf star Tiger Woods has made the game popular among young people.
Sentence clumsies refer to any grammar issue that a reader trips over and says, «Huh?» Clumsies can range from confused relationships among the elements of a sentence to excessive use of a particular grammatical construction. There are several of these sentence clumsies that you must learn to avoid, particularly as you apply techniques for building and varying sentences – coordination, subordination, and clause reduction. These clumsies include:
- misplaced modifiers;
- dangling modifiers;
- nonparallel elements in a series or a comparison.
Misplaced Modifiers
A modifier can be a word or a phrase. Whether it is one word or several, the modifier is the describer of another word, phrase, or clause in a sentence. Modifiers must point clearly to the words, phrases, or clauses they modify.
A misplaced modifier is one that is positioned in a sentence so that it is unclear what is being modified or described or so that it refers grammatically to the wrong element.
|
Misplaced |
Improved |
|
The leaves clogged the drain falling from the elm tree. |
Falling from the elm tree, the leaves clogged the drain. |
|
Playing in the street, the truck hit a child. |
Playing in the street, the child was hit by the truck. |
|
Cats used to come to the place where I lived begging for food. |
In the place where I lived, cats used to come begging for food. |
|
The dog and I went for a walk after reading the newspaper. |
After reading the newspaper, I took the dog for a walk. |
Dangling Modifiers
A dangling modifier is a word, phase, or clause that is not related to any grammatical element in a sentence. The dangling modifier often seems to refer to something that is only implied, even understood. But there is no noun for it to refer to in the sentence. So, the modifier dangles, or hangs off the sentence without a hook.
Dangling modifiers usually occur when a clause is reduced incorrectly or when a writer uses a lot of passive voice constructions.
What is the best way to fix a dangling modifier? Add the word or words for the modifier to describe, or change the modifier into a phrase or a clause that clearly describes another part of the sentence.
|
Dangling |
Improved |
|
Courageously, the suspect was apprehended. |
Courageously, the officer apprehended the suspect. |
|
Singing for his supper, Mark and Heidi giggled. |
Singing for his supper, Fred made Mark and Heidi giggle./ Mark and Heidi giggled as Fred sang for his supper. |
|
Before attending the lecture, dinner would have to be eaten. |
Before attending the lecture, we would have to eat dinner./ Dinner would have to be eaten before we attend the lecture. |
|
To obtain good grades, hard work is essential. |
To obtain good grades, a student must work hard. |
Nonparallelism
Make sure that similar or related grammatical elements of a sentence are parallel in grammatical form. The problem often appears in a pair/series or in a comparison. To achieve parallelism, use all nouns, all verbs, all phrases, or all clauses for the elements in a series or for the parts of a comparison.
|
Non parallel series |
Parallel series |
|
The agenda for the February meeting includes a discussion of the new health plan, whether to revise the procedures manual, and drafting an early retirement policy. |
The agenda for the February meeting includes discussing the new health plan, deciding whether to revise the procedures manual, and drafting an early retirement policy. |
|
The film was terrifying and with a lot of suspense. |
The film was terrifying and suspenseful./ The film contained a lot of terror and suspense. |
|
The vacation package included food, lodging, recreation, and having entrance fees paid for. |
The vacation package included food, lodging, recreation, and entrance fees. |
|
Non parallel comparison |
Parallel comparison |
|
He writes neither checks nor uses a credit card. |
He neither writes checks nor uses a credit card. |
|
Many recent college graduates have chosen to become doctors rather than studying law or business. |
Many recent college graduates have chosen to become doctors rather than lawyers or business executives./ Many recent college graduates have chosen to study medicine rather than law or business. |
Mixed Sentences
A mixed sentence uses elements that do not fit together in either grammar or meaning. There are three types of mixed sentences.
The subject and the complement are not logically related.
|
A compromise between the city and the country would be the ideal place to live. |
→ |
A community that offers the best qualities of both city and country would be the ideal place to live. |
The use of is when or is where, particularly in definitions.
|
An examination is when you are tested on what you know. |
→ |
An examination is a test of what you know. |
The use of The reason is because, which is redundant because the reason is means the same as because.
|
The reason the temple requests donations is because the school needs expansion. |
→ |
The reason the temple requests donations is that the school needs expansion. / The temple requests donations because the school needs expansion. |
Mixed meanings with verbs other than be.
|
The use of emission controls was created to reduce air pollution. |
→ |
Emission controls were created to reduce air pollution. |
The following example illustrates a mixed grammar construction, which uses an adjectival prepositional phrase as a subject.
|
Mixed |
Revised |
|
By paying more attention to impressions than facts leads us to misjudge others. |
Paying more attention to impressions than facts leads us to misjudge others. / By paying more attention to impressions than facts, we may misjudge others. |
|
Repeated subjects, objects, adverbs |
Revised |
|
The liquid it reached a temperature of 180 degrees F. |
The liquid reached a temperature of 180 degrees F. |
|
Gases in the liquid they escaped. |
Gases in the liquid escaped. |
|
The technician whom the test depended on her was burned. |
The technician whom the test depended on was burned. |
|
Gases escaped at a moment when the technician was unprepared then. |
Gases escaped at a moment when the technician was unprepared. |
|
Accidents rarely happen to technicians the lab has trained them. NOTE: whom is understood – whom the lab has trained. |
Accidents rarely happen to technicians the lab has trained. |
Excessive Use of Passive Verbs
In a passive verb sentence, the grammatical subject of a sentence RECEIVES the action of the verb (recall that in an active verb sentence, the subject PERFORMS the action). A passive verb combines the past tense of be (was, were, been) with the past participle of another verb.
Use the passive voice only when the subject is unknown or considered relatively unimportant. At times the passive voice is necessary and effective. For example, there is really no other way to express the following, other than to use a passive verb:
The streets of Paris are laid out in a circular pattern. [Whoever made the streets that way is not important in this context.]
Walt Whitman’s brother was wounded during the Civil War. [Whoever it was who wounded him is unknown and, furthermore, irrelevant.]
HOWEVER…
The use of too many passive verbs contributes to wordiness and weak writing. It is evasive. It implies that the writer is hiding something. That’s because passive verbs are often used to deliberately hide important information, such as who made the mistake in Mistakes were made. In general, use active verbs as much as possible for clearer, more comprehensible writing.
|
Evasive and wordy passive |
Straightforward and stronger active |
|
It has been decided that a decision about increasing tuition will be postponed until all relevant data have been reviewed. |
The board decided to postpone its decision about increasing tuition until it has reviewed all relevant data. |
|
He was visited by his students before and after school and was sincerely appreciated by them. |
His students visited him before and after school, and they sincerely appreciated him. |
Task. For each group of sentences that follows, try to combine the sentences into one effective sentence. Use various combining techniques such as expansion, compounding, coordination, subordination, and clause reduction (participial or appositive). Example:
Marcella went to the drugstore.
She went during her coffee break.
The trip took her only a few minutes.
Marcella needed some aspirin.
Needing some aspirin, Marcella went to the drugstore, a trip of only a few minutes, during her coffee break.
The cat was fat.
The cat was sleek.
The cat was a Burmese.
The stretching was lazy.
The car was a Mercedes.
The car rolled slowly.
The car rolled arrogantly.
The car rolled to a stop.
I was reluctant to read the book.
The book was silly.
The book was repetitious.
I read the book to my son.
The hotel was brick.
The brick was red.
The hill overlooked a cliff.
The position of the hotel was precarious.
The dishes were dirty.
The stack of dishes was high.
The height of the stack of dishes was dangerous.
The sink was made of enamel.
The enamel was chipped.
Task. Revise the following sentences or passages to make them more effective. Use one of the techniques discussed for building sentences and/or making sentences more effective:
Words: appropriate word choice or word form, specificity, degrees of certainty, academic register, transition words, gender bias avoidance in pronouns and nouns.
Clauses: coordination and subordination; reduction to participial phrases or appositives.
Expansion of sentences to make them more descriptive and specific.
Cleaning up sentence clumsiness such as nonparallel elements, misplaced modifiers, dangling modifiers, and unnecessary use of passive voice.
NOTE: A sentence or passage may occasionally contain more than one error:
1) if a child has a question about what is right or what is wrong, he may be afraid to ask his authoritative parents about it, because he knows they will reprimand him for saying a word or to talk about a topic they have taught him is not to be discussed;
2) the student passed the test;
3) the most common isotope is carbon 12, which it contains six protons and six neurons;
4) Tiger Woods is the name of a young American golfer. He set a record in the 1997 Master’s Tournament in Augusta, Georgia. He surprised all the veterans. He was 22 at the time;
5) passing the building, the vandalism became visible;
6) some people with AIDS have insurance, but others lack the bread for premiums;
7) focusing on a selected discipline throughout the university years will make students more effective and knowledgeable in their discipline, less time to graduate, and the grades of the student better reflect what they can do in their discipline, not what they can do in unrelated courses;
8) she went to bed early, but she could not sleep do to the noisy that her roommate made;
9) the scholarship students were very happy. They thought about a college education. It seemed to be beyond their dreams. It seemed too cost. It seemed too demanded;
10) although at first I feared the sensation of flight, I came to enjoy plane trips over time;
11) there is a story about a man named Rip Van Winkle. This man lived in a country village when America was a colony of Great Britain. One day, he went to the mountains and met a group of Dutchmen. Rip drank the Dutchmen’s whiskey. Then, Rip fell asleep for 20 years. He woke up. He found that everything had changed. He was in the American Revolution.
12) when in diapers, my mother remarried;
13) the AIDS sufferer who loses his job may need public assistance;
14) although I want to take a train trip across western Canada, even so my traveling companion wants to fly to Mexico City for our vacation;
15) a hurricane is when the winds in a tropical depression rotate counterclockwise at more than 74 miles per hour;
16) the dog chewed the bone;
17) neither my father nor my mother will meet me at the airport, and I will look for them as soon as I get past security;
18) if two or more people share an apartment, they should share the housework, either;
19) the quality of water in city systems is measured really a lot. If legal levels are exceeded by pollutants, the citizens must be notified by city officials;
20) when you drive on the interstates in the US, you see everyone driving SUVs. Americans don’t care about wasting gas;
21) not only sharing in cleaning the room, but we also take turns replacing the household supplies, such as paper towels for the kitchen and tissue for the bathroom, when they run low;
22) after being struck with a saber by a British officer, Andrew Jackson’s craggy face bore a scar;
23) my grandmother recently arrived in the United States. She used to live in Vietnam. The only language she speaks fluent is Cantonese;
24) community colleges offer preparation for many jobs; nonetheless, they prepare students to transfer to four-year colleges or universities;
25) entering the classroom, all the students sitting at their desks turned to look at me;
26) a lion is a good variety as a pet if you live alone because pet lions give their owners both companionship and they help keep the home locked up;
27) because conflicts often develop in immigrant families, old and new cultures are different;
28) cleanliness, considerate, and communication are some of the characteristics that students look for in a good roommate;
29) through high winds, storm surge, floods, and tornadoes is how hurricanes have killed thousands of people;
30) because of its extra neutrons, the carbon 14 atom it is unstable and radioactive;
31) Emma Willard founded the Troy Female Seminary, the first institution to provide a college-level education for women in 1821;
32) even Mexicans and Mexican-Americans who speak English very proficient still preference to go to a Spanish-spoken dentist instead of an English-spoken dentist;
33) John F. Kennedy was inaugurated into office as president of the US. The inauguration occurred in January 1961. He was assassinated in November of 1963. He spent only 1000 days in office;
34) carbon dating is most accurate when a specimen is between 500 and 50,000 years old then;
35) one night, she needed to get a lot of sleep because she was going to take the TOEFL test tomorrow;
36) while briefly governor of Florida, the US presidency became Andrew Jackson’s goal;
37) these simple rules can make living with a roommate enjoyable instead of a battle for space;
38) water quality is determined by many factors, because suspended and dissolved substances are contained in all natural bodies of water.
Task. Combine the following sentences into logical, coherent, related sentences. Use various combining techniques such as coordination, subordination, and clause reduction to phrases (participial or appositive). Write the new paragraph.
Task. The following sentences use too much coordination. Sometimes the coordination is not logical; that is, it connects ideas that do not have any reason to be connected. Correct the excessive and faulty coordination and the faulty coordination by using the most appropriate technique—punctuation, compounding, subordination, clause reduction—as appropriate, for logical relationships between ideas. As the example indicates, you may have to add information to make the relationships coherent.
Example:
My dog barks, and I have to move out of my apartment.→
Because my dog’s barking disturbs my neighbors, I have to move out of my apartment.
Task. The following sentences use lots of subordination, but the subordination is not always necessary, accurate, or logical. That is, the relationships between ideas is inappropriate or illogical based on the subordinated clause or the subordinating conjunction. Correct the excessive subordination and the illogical relationships by using the most appropriate technique – coordination, compounding, subordination, clause reduction – as appropriate, for logical relationships between ideas. As the example indicates, you may have to add information to make the relationships coherent.
Example:
Marcos, who is 17 years old and has been driving for only 1 year, had driven his mother’s car into a cornfield, which made him terrified to return home. →
After driving his mother’s care into a cornfield, Marcos, a 17-year-old driver with only 1 year of driving experience, was terrified to return home.
Task. The following sentences use lots of subordination, but the subordination is not always necessary. Correct the excessive subordination using clause reduction; that is, reduce adjective or adverb clauses to participial or appositive phrases, as appropriate. Some clauses can even be reduced to prepositional phrases.
Example:
Modern English contains words that are borrowed from many sources. → Modern English contains words borrowed from many sources.
Task. Use coordination and/or subordination to correct each of the following run-on sentences, which come from student papers. If you can edit clearly and cleanly, you can do so on this sheet; otherwise, type your corrections on a separate sheet of paper. The ONLY errors are associated with sentence structure – run-on sentences specifically.
Task. These are the results when you were asked to write sentences based on the following simple sentence and incorporating information that you yourselves developed in class by answering questions of what kind of monsters, where were they going, why were they going, and so on:
The monsters crawled:
- as big as a motorcycle;
- green;
- 6 legs;
- 5 monsters;
- heading for a small village;
- hungry;
- looking for snacks and ice cream;
- moving heavily and slowly;
Now, edit and revise these sentences to turn them into clear, coherent, accurate English.
Task. Combine the following sentences into three logical, coherent, related sentences. Use various combining techniques such as coordination, subordination, and clause reduction to phrases (participial or appositive).
The term server is applied to the people in restaurants who take orders for food and deliver the food to the table.
Tips come from restaurant customers.
Server is the term used to refer to both waiters and waitresses.
The expected tip amount in a United States restaurant is between 17 percent and 20 percent of the total food bill.
In general, tips are not given in fast food restaurants.
A tip is also known as a gratuity.
The food bill for six or more people often includes the tip or gratuity.
Task. Compare the following sets of sentences.
He walked slowly, with bent shoulders, his feet dragging the pavement.
A huge stuffed dog and a one-eyed teddy bear sat on the floor in a sea of bright red and yellow plastic race cards, broken crayons, building blocks, and toy spaceships.
She yawned, stretched, and settled back contentedly in the hammock.
He lifted the heavy box easily and balanced it on his shoulder.
Patches of bare floor showed through the holes in the faded rug.
Be specific! Always search for ways to illustrate, through words, whatever point you want to make. Show reader by putting that picture in your mind into words on the paper. Consider how the following general descriptions come alive in your mind when specific, «sense» words are used.
gloomy house – dark rooms, damp wallpaper, sagging stairs, dirty windows, creaking floors, musty smell, chill air…
pretty yard – green lawn, pink roses, shade trees, ivy, white lawn furniture, flower beds of yellow and pink and orange and rose and blue, fragrances of flowers, warm sunshine…
Task. Write each of the words or phrases listed below on a separate sheet of paper. Follow each with at least 4 descriptive word pictures that come to your mind. Work fast. Spend no more than 2 minutes on each group of pictures.
|
rainy day |
happy |
auditorium |
music |
|
Fog |
street |
Breakfast |
ball game |
Writing Assignment: Convert all the following dim sentences into sharp word pictures that show what the sentence really means.
Example:
The living room was a mess.
The rug was covered with popcorn, peanut shells, crumpled paper cups, comic books, and bits of birthday cake, and somebody had hung a pair of wet socks on the lampshade.
I looked like a wreck.
The dog was very friendly.
The counter was loaded with various kinds of fresh fruit in all sorts of containers.
A lot of people were in the park.
He looked angry.
Use standard formatting and production.
- use black pencil or blue or black ink;
- use white or yellow lined paper;
- write on only one side of the paper;
- clearly indent paragraphs;
- write on every other line;
- leave margins on all sides;
- remember identifying information at top left of first page.
Task. Each of the following sentences has a word choice error. Test your ability to identify word choice problems by correcting each error.
Task. Fill in the blanks in the following paragraph, using one of the words in parentheses. Consult a dictionary to be sure of the connotations of your choice.
AIDS is a serious health (problem, worry, difficulty, plight). Once the virus has entered the blood system, it (murders, destroys, slaughters, executes) T-cells. The (ambition, function, aim, goal) of T-cells is to combat infections. Without enough T-cells, the body is nearly
(defenseless, hopeless, desperate) against infections. To prevent exposure to the disease, one should be especially (chary, circumspect, cautious, calculating) in sexual relationships.
Task. The following student paragraph contains word choice errors. Write a more appropriate or accurate word above the error.
When I was a senior in high school, I dreamed about being a college student and often marveled what college would be like. I also questioned about how much difference there would be between college and high school, particularly in class size. I assisted to a big-city high school, which was teeming; each class had a staffing of 40 students. Therefore, when I sent in my application for college, I hoped that classes in college would be tiny. However, here at college, especially in chemistry and economics classes, the class halls are overcrowded. Furthermore, my chemistry class has more than 300 scholars in it and some of them cannot get a seat when they land late. Some students stand in the reverse, and others sit in the alleys in the middle and on the sides. Unfortunately, when a class is very crowded, I cannot highlight on what the teacher is preaching about. Therefore, I do not feel satiated with what I am learning. Unfortunately, my wish that classes would be small in college has not been recognized.
Task. The following student paragraph contains word form errors. Write the correct form of the word above each error.
My bilingualism may beneficial me in terms of job opportunities. First of all, more and more immigrates arrive in the United States every year. To help these newcomers or to do business with them, bilingual and multilingual employees are needing. For example, banks, law firms, and assurance agencies often need employment who can communicative with both non-English and English-spoken clients. Therefore, because I speak Spanish good, I might find many job opportunities in places where there are a lot of Spain speakers, such as Los Angeles, New York, Chicago, and Miami. Second, if I can achievement my goal of having me own dentist clinic, Spanish-spoken clients may be a good source for my earns. Many Spanish speakers tendency to feel more comfort with Spanish-speaking doctors and dentists. Even Mexicans and Mexican-Americans who speak English verity proficient still preference to go to a Spanish-spoken dentist instead of an English-spoken dentist. So, overall, I may benefit economical from my knowledgement of two languages.
Task. The following student paragraph contains word form errors. Identify the errors and write the correct form of the word.
Being multilinguistic enables me to communicate direct with many people. Even though I mostly use English in my everyday live, especially at the university, I still use Cantonese to communicative with my relationships. My grandmother, for example, who has just recently arriving in the United States from Vietnam and is now lived with my family, cannot understand English. The only language she speaks fluent is Cantonese. Therefore, to know how to speak Cantonese allows me to communication easy with her. By talking with her, I have learned some of my family’s historical. She told me that she and my grandfather were original from China, and she explanation what her life was likely there. She has also told me interested stories about China that I never would have heard if I did not speak Cantonese. Moreover, being able to speaking Cantonese or Vietnamese in Asian restaurants has also being benefit to me. The restaurant employees recognition that they and I are from similarity backgrounds because we speak the same language. So they give best attentive to me than to customers who do not speak the language. Thus, being able to speak these languages opens the door for me to communication close with many difference people.
Task. Each underlined word represents an error of word form or word choice. Correct the errors on this page; write the correct word above the underlined word. Pay attention to collocations, because sometimes a neighboring word may give you a hint on how to revise an underlined word.
More historians claim that General William T. Sherman said, “War is hell.” Several accounts contest to this quotation. One edition goes back to 1863 in the Civil War, when Sherman’s troops were acrossing a bridge in bad whether. The commander was suppose to have said to the passable soldiers, “War is hell, boys.” It is debatable weather he made the statement than. Two other claims are that he used the expressive at a military academy graduation in 1879 or in a speaking to Union veterans in 1880. Sherman hisself was never even sure weather he really said it. Before his death in 1891, the general looking through all his privacy papers to determined whether the words were actual his.
Павлодар, 2023